Christmas Party

Saturday night was our Christmas party. My brother and I thought it would be fun to host a Christmas party/BBQ for our friend while he was in town from St. Louis. We had so much fun. Everyone had fun. I kept looking at all of the pictures today and smiling about it. What a good time!
Kurt was there, as he is at all of our friend/family functions now, because he too is our friend. I had convinced Kurt to stay the night at our house by selling the breakfast I was going to make in the morning. He shouldn't drive in that condition. He promptly made another drink and agreed. I set up a "bed" for him with some extra blankets in the living room. I was in my room talking to our friend Nick, when my brother came in and said that Kurt and our other friend Jason were leaving. We hopped up to re-convince them both to stay. When we came out, Kurt was already gone and there was no convincing Jason on staying.
The reason I bring this up is the oddness of Kurt. Kurt shouldn't have driven. He had a lot to drink. And when I saw him online and told him as much he told me he "got lonely" so he went to his local bar to find someone to spend the night with. Now, I don't want to be with Kurt, but I do care about him. He is my friend. I really still think that he is wrapped up in the idea of me. This sounds strange, and maybe self-centered, but it's the vibe I'm getting. He keeps telling me we're friends, and that everything is cool. But disappearing acts, odd pouting, and online conversations elude to something else. He could hardly look me in the face after I introduced him to Jeff on Thursday. And he seemed fine with the idea of staying last night until Nick and I were in my room, his tune changed really quick. And tonight while chatting online he said in so many words that this had been a particularly bad week, but I wouldn't know about that. Then he said that he hadn't been "kicked enough yet" and signed off right after telling me to sleep well. Sound fishy to you? Or am I just thinking the world revolves around me when it does not?

Thursday night out

My friend from St. Louis came into town, and some of his other friends were hosting a night out on his behalf this past Thursday, so my plan was to go out for a couple of drinks and hang out with that crowd for the night. While at dinner my phone rings and it was Jeff. He had called to see what I was up to and if I wanted to do something. I of course invited him out with us. I had him meet me at the Prospect Bar & Grill. The attire for the bar was a little dressier and I had neglected to tell him that previously. He showed up in jeans and a t-shirt, but looked great. We ended up spending most of the night sitting at the bar and chatting. It was so fun, and time seemed to fly by. We got some good kisses in, we flirted, we reminisced, and even danced a little. I can't help but smile just thinking about it. I'm really enjoying this time that I'm getting to spend with Jeff again. I seem to not want the day or night to end when I'm around him.
With Christmas in two days I'm not sure when I'll get to see him again, but I hope I get to see him before I leave town for Arizona for New Years Eve.

Brent who?

Today at work all I could think about of course was Jeff. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face no matter how hard I tried. Well, Brent and all his charm came by this afternoon to let me know that he'd still like to go out dancing. He asked if I was available this week. I must have looked at him like he was crazy. It's the week before Christmas, he doesn't call me ever, but expects me to be free whenever he comes by my office? What?! I laughed and said "Are you kidding? The week before Christmas?" I have to do all of my Christmas shopping today and tomorrow, and I have friends coming into town that I already have plans with. He rolled his eyes with a smile and asked "What about next week, towards the end of the week?" I know I had to give him an even crazier look, "New years weekend? I'm going out of town to visit a girlfriend!" And with that he swatted his arm as if to say "forget it", smiled and left my office.

Old friends

Last Thursday I was heading out to PB to meet a couple girlfriends for happy hour and since I was going to be in the neighborhood I figured I'd give my friend a call and see if I could either stop by and pick up my roadside emergency kit or if he'd like to join us. He said he had to finish up some stuff at work but he'd like to come out and join us. I'm so glad he made it out, we talked and talked and talked some more, and when we left the bar we sat in my car and talked a little more. Through the course of the conversation I found out he had broken up with his girlfriend about three weeks prior. This stirred emotions. Still, unsure of what this is I kept my cool and gave him a big hug at the end of our talk and sent him on his way. We discussed that we would go watch some football together on the following Sunday. He asked if he could call me on Saturday, "Yes" I replied, what a silly question!
Saturday afternoon rolled around and he called as promised. We made arrangements for Sunday, agreeing to meet at his house and then ride bikes over to the PB Shore Club. He proceeded to ask what I was doing that night. I told him I needed to start getting my house in order, get a Christmas tree, and start decorating. He said that if I got a "wild hair" and wanted to join him and his friends out that I was more than welcome. This invitation and phone call made me giddy. I was so happy he called, so happy that I'd get to see him again. As the evening went on and I got more wrapped up in my cleaning, I figured I'd call him to let him know that I wouldn't be making it out. He was full of temptation though. He tried his hardest to get me to come out, but as time ticked on I decided it best for me to stay in.
Sunday morning we met up, rode bikes, and watched football as planned. He looked great. And again, it was nice to see him. As the day went on, we got closer. As in sitting next to each other, more knee pats and elbows touching kinda stuff. Mild flirtations, but nonetheless, still flirtation. We changed venues about a quarter into our second game. When the Chargers had a comfortable enough lead I suggested we watch a different game, so we separated from his buddies who had joined us later and went off to find a table. There we sat, more flirting, more smiles, more touching. At one point he was holding my hand to warm me up, but then we didn't let go. It sounds funny to say now. But then we started to talk about how things ended before. How comfortable this seemed, How he has always liked me, and I him. It was nice. It's making me smile a day later just thinking about it. But, I was running out of time. I had to come back home still and get stuff together for a Christmas party at a friends house. I said I didn't want to leave, he said he didn't want me to leave, but we left anyways. When we got back to his house and put the bikes away we hugged. A big, long, squeeze the life outta ya hug, it felt so good! He nestled his face in my neck, and I did the same to his, this was it, now or never, I kissed his neck, he pulled back to look at me, I asked if that was okay, already knowing the answer and he said yes, that he was going to go for it if I didn't and then we kissed. A nice kiss. Long enough, but not too long. I pulled back with a grin on my face and we pulled out of our hug, I said I should go, and he said "Come'ere darlin'" and gave me another big hug. Then, I finally left. I feel like I've stepped into a time machine and gone back two years, he's all I can think about.
I have issues though. He just broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago, I really do not want to be his rebound. I deserve better than that, he knows it too, he better anyways! I don't know if I should talk to him about it all, I think that's my best bet. I'd like to date him again, to see what may happen. After all these years of knowing him it still feels like unfinished business. At any rate, I can't wait to see him again, I don't know when that will be, but I'm hoping soon.

Monday at the office

Too cute, on his way to lunch today Brent stops and in a stage whisper across my office "I had fun on Friday!". It made me smile! I said me too and he went on his way. We'll see what this week holds.

1:17 AM

Here I sit. 1:17AM on a Saturday morning. I just had a very nice date with the ever illusive Brent. We saw a movie and then had a beer afterwards at Rock Bottom. This felt like a real date. There was no making out in the bar. No groping. Just conversation at the brewery and a long, well-written, depressing movie.
We saw "Atonement". I wouldn't say I liked it, but I would probably say it was a good movie. After the movie we walked across the way to TGIFridays. The place was PACKED for some reason and he suggested we go some place else. This is how we ended up at Rock Bottom. He did however have to go in and check out the place beforehand because he knew some of the "basketball guys" were going to be there. The coast was clear so we went in, and talked over a beer. A single beer, that's it this time, and I'm glad. Last call was shouted when I was in the restroom, and when I came back out the lights were on and he was ready to go. He walked me to my car, said thank you for going to the movies with him and said that we should do it again sometime soon. I said "Yea?" and he kissed me. We had a normal date, it was fun! So, here I sit at 1:27AM now wondering if he is thinking about me. Wondering if there will be a second date this time around. Will he actually use my number? I had a really good time, so I hope he does call, and I hope we do go out again. With all this, I think my day has been long enough and I think I can go to sleep finally.

He's too confusing

Oh Brent, you're so confusing. No calls, no other mentions of going out again. But, yesterday he walks straight into my office, right up to my desk just to chit-chat. We say our hellos from day to day, but nothing more. I have no idea what is going on. No idea.

MySpace, YourSpace, HisSpace

In my last post I mentioned that Jesse, the guy from the bar a couple weeks ago had given me his number in his last email to me. My next move was to give him my number and tell him to call me, I didn't want to call him. I didn't hear from him through MySpace or on the phone, it surprised me, but I wasn't upset about it, just confused. I just received a MySpace message from him regarding his "disappearing act". He said that someone from his past just popped back up and didn't want to leave me hanging. I thought that was very nice. Most guys would have just left it as it was, but he didn't. I guess they're not all that bad huh?