One is one too many...

One more is never enough.

This Friday night is not unlike any other heartbroken night I've spent before, it just seems to be kind of a delayed reaction to things.

Jason and I have not been together for five weeks now. At first, it wasn't so hard because of his schedule, I just felt like he was working and I was just staying busy. Too busy to realize what happened. Now though? Now I miss him like crazy. And as I type this, I can't stop crying. I'm actually crying so hard I can't get any air in through my nose, and there's a steady stream of tears flowing down my cheeks.

It takes a lot for me not to call him. It takes a lot for me to not contact him at all, even if it's all I can think about and all I want to do. Right now being a "strong woman" sucks. It's about the hardest thing to do and be.

I thought he was the one. Why am I so bad at choosing men? I can't ever seem to find one who wants the same thing I want at the same time. In fact, I'm really good at picking the opposite.

I just needed to get some thoughts out. I really need to calm down and get some sleep though.

Been awhile...

Wow, I knew it had been awhile since I logged in and updated my blog, but I didn't think it had been that long!
Jason and I are still together and having a great time being in love, traveling together, and just enjoying each other's company.
Since no one really reads this and I am not really single anymore I think this needs to evolve. I think this will serve well as my diary of sorts.

Tonight, I was watching the Academy of Country Music Awards and thoroughly enjoyed it. I love country music and I was more than pleased with almost all the performances. I have a couple of notes though:

1. Jamey Johnson - I don't think he's a very good singer, but apparently he has his audience because he was performing tonight and being compared to some bigtime country music stars.

2. George Strait - should have won something. He put out a great CD with some great music.

3. Trace Adkins - seems like a true cowboy. He performed this song dedicated to the troops and had a Marine in a wheelchair with no legs introduce him. Man, did I cry my eyes out. It made me think of my grandfather, my father, my brother, my cousins and all the brave men and women who serve this country and have kept it safe and allowed so many freedoms for all of us fortunate enough to call ourselves Americans. That, and I'm about to start my period and I'm a little emotional around this time of the month. Hehe ;)

I think that's about all I have for this evening, I'm going to watch the rest of the awards and get to bed. I can't believe the weekend is already over. They seem to go so fast!

Weekend fun here I come!

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow. I get to see my honey! I've gotten used to seeing him more often over the past couple of weeks, and this week was our first full week back, no holidays, no vacation time. It'll be nice to see him and hug and kiss him. I'm going to make us dinner at his place tomorrow.
This weekend should be fun too. I have a baby shower to go to on Saturday, and then Jason and I are going to his friend's birthday party.
Sunday we may brave Cowels again, this will be my first time back up since I fell. Ouch. That sucked. My knee is still sore, but I think I can make it up!

Vegas

A big group of us are going to Vegas for my brother's girlfriend's 21st birthday on August 1st. We wanted to see "Love" but it's on break that week.
Jason received a mailing for comped rooms and suggested he and I go just to see the show! We went last Sunday night.
When we arrived in Las Vegas and our luggage was no where in sight. We asked the clerk and they saw that it got put on the next flight out of San Diego which was arriving shortly. Thank God! We finally got our stuff and got over to the hotel. Once we unpacked and changed Jason said that he had something for me. He picked up his bag and pulled out a box. He said he wanted to give it to me tomorrow night, but he thought it would match what I was wearing that night. It was a beautiful gold watch. I love it!! We finished our drinks in the room and out we made our way over to Rio to see the World Series of Poker. After some drinks and a shared burger we headed back to Harrah's to turn in for the night.
Monday we got a slow start and made our way over to Paris for some crepes for breakfast. We walked all over and window shopped all day, stopped in at different hotels and had a few drinks along the way to stay cool of course! We went back to the hotel for a little rest, we showered and got ready for the show. By the time we were ready to go, we only had a little bit of time to eat something before the show. We had some chicken fingers at the cafe there and walked into the show. "Love" was amazing. It was so cool! Our seats were perfect, the music was great, the performance was awesome, we had such a good time. From there we went to the Revolution Lounge right outside the theater. We drank, and goofed off there for a couple hours, we didn't get back to our room and to sleep until 4:30am!
Tuesday we woke up around 10:30 and got everything ready to go. We got out of the room, checked our bags with the bellhop and grabbed some breakfast at Denny's. That was it. That was our trip, very quick, but lots of fun.

Update time

Since my last post my relationship with Jason has been plugging right along. He still makes me smile from ear to ear when I think about him, and I love being with him. Another couple developments: we went on a trip to San Francisco together, I've met his mom now and there is another trip in the works for July. We're going to Las Vegas and we have tickets to see "Love" at Mirage!
Something I need to talk to him about though: the L word. We haven't said it yet, and its so on the tip of my tongue. Another thing: he's going to have to start going with me to my family events. My family is starting to think they scared him off. They know I care about him a lot and need to get to know him as well.
We're still on opposite schedules and I miss him a lot during the week, but we text or talk everyday through out the day so that helps.

Nothing but smiles

Last time I posted it was about the eHarmony men. That was February 25th. Funny story though; I met someone who has nothing to do with eHarmony! His name is Jason! He's a sweetheart and I miss him when he's not around and love being around him on the weekends when I get to see him. He's a police officer and he works the swing shift Monday through Thursday right now.
We met on my doorstep one night. There had been an accident outside my apartment complex and my brothers car had been hit. Jason came to the door to notify him that his Mustang had been hit. My brother and I went to go check out the Mustang, and while he was over getting the information from the other officers, I stayed back and talked with Jason. We were just talking. A couple of days later he was back in our complex on a false 911 call, my brother ran into him and they started talking. He said to "tell your sister, Lucy right? Tell her hi." So... I went to take out the trash so I could talk to him. He was still down there and we talked for a little while before he asked me for my number. We went out to lunch the next Saturday, March 1st. The next day I canceled on Jay to go to the movies with Jason. Ever since then, I've spent every weekend with Jason.
It's Sunday night and he has gone home to finish up laundry and get stuff together for the week. I miss him already and can't wait until Friday when I get to see him again. I like the direction we're going in. He's smart, he's sweet, he's cute and I really like him. AND he really seems to like me too. I'm so happy I met him. We're going to San Francisco for the weekend April 18th! I'm so excited! It's nice to be with someone who actually wants to travel with me. He also offered to go to church with me on Easter. Big points in my book. I went to church last Easter by myself. This Easter, Jason went with me and then came to my house for Easter dinner with my family. My brothers and my parents like him.
I guess that's enough gushing for one blog entry. More to come I'm sure!

Lots to catch up on

Eharmony has kept me busy, that's for sure.

First there was Tate. He was the first one that I met off of eHarmony. He was cute, but kind of little, really nice though. We had a good time together, talking, getting to know one another, but there was no chemistry.

Second came Derek. He was nice, he drove down from Newport to meet me. He wanted to see me again during the week (we met on a Saturday). I was okay with this, but I told him that my family was coming into town that week and it would probably be a little crazy. He called on Monday evening, I was out with the family, so I didn't get to answer or call him back that evening. The next day was my cousin and my aunt's birthdays, so obviously pretty busy as well. I got a crazy long text from him asking what he did wrong, and that he thought there was chemistry, but I didn't apparently since I didn't call him back within the 12 hour period he alotted imaginarily. He was crazy. I told him that I thought I was too independent for what he was looking for.

The third person I met was Alex. We met at the Yard House after work one evening. He was witty and sort of cute. We had fun together.

Fourth was Andy (although he was from MySpace). We met for a drink and then went to sushi. He was sweet. I wasn't that excited to meet him, I was looking more forward to the next night with number five. But I actually had a really good time with him.

Fifth is Jay. We went to Ki's in Cardiff, like I said I was really excited to meet him just because of our prior online conversations. He sounded intelligent, we sounded like we were in the same place from previous relationships and so on. We had a nice time, but he seemed meek.

That's the quick synopsis, more to come!